Goodbyes

This has been a week fo goodbyes. I said goodbye to V on Monday. It was quite emotional...but no tears yet, then on Tuesday, it was L, again, no tears. Yesterday it was Loopy, and still no tears, and then today it was JB.

Its a bit odd, i keep saying to these people 'byeee...see you soon' as if i'll be seeing them next week, or next month...not at least a year down the line!

I go on Sunday at 12:30...then i arrive in CQ at 16:05 local time - its going to be one hell of a jetlag to get over!! 22 and a half hours travelling to get there!!

I'm all packed. I sent my boxes over on monday, so they should be there anyday soon, and i've packed my hold luggage. Just got to wait until the very last minute to finish packing my cabin luggage (because i have to add my hard drive to the case).

Did you know that you can only take 20kg on the plane? What a stupid limit!! The US has a limit of 22kg a bag - 2bag maximum - so double what we have. That's because Europe has signed the IATA agreement to cut down on emissions...apparently. Personally, because of my previous job, i think its so that they can sell more space to courier companies. My boxes are probably going on the same plane as i am, but it was cheaper to send them by courier than pay excess baggage...

Ho Hum...Maybe it will kick in soon that i am going 3000 miles away...for a long time, and its not just round the corner, and unless people decide to have a holiday in the far east, i won't be seeing them for a very long time. It hasn't kicked in yet. I still have this weird feeling of denial...like something's going to happen so that i don't go. As long as i don't get swine flu by Sunday/Monday, all should be fine!

Final Farewells

A lot of people don't seem to realise that i am leaving for some time!
I've just come back from being in York for the weekend. It was really enjoyable, except for the fact that i'm finding that people don't realise...i aksed a few people out for drinks and got answers like 'i can't at the moment', or 'are you about next week?'. Now, i live 200 miles away - its very rare that i'm ever in York for more than a weekend.

As soon as i informed these people that i was going away for a long time, they wwere free, but that's not the point - the point is that its a rarity that i get to travel that far for a few days, mainly to see people...and then they can't be bothered!

Maybe one day i'll have some friends who actually do bother, and who are keen to see me. Who knows?!

Things

So...what would you pack for 9 months (minimum) halfway across the world?

I'm sending over either one box, or a few boxes before i get there. I'm planning to pack books and trousers mainly in those.

But what else? I've been thinking about the things that i use all day every day, but the problem is that a lot of things will run out - what can i do without?

I think i need to buy a new tube of toothpaste, and take a new head for my electrical toothbrush, i'll need to get a new pot of facial cleanser, but that will run out...and its Lush, there are no Lushes in China!! The other thing is that my daily cleansing routine is great for the british climate...but CQ is hot and humid in the summer and cold and wet in the winter, so will it still be ok then? What about hair dye? There's only a certain amount of space in my luggage...where am i going to fit 3 pots of purple dye, a pot of bleach and a pot of black? To be fair, i can probably get my hair dyed and bleached there...

Things like towels - i use a towelling robe instead of a bath towel...how will i fit it in the bag?

Then we have the perfume problam...i am a perfumista...what if i run out? However...i have already checked the shipping rates of my favourite perfumier to China, and its quite reasonable!!

How much clothing do i pack? I'll be living there, so i can wash and dry things as i need to, but how many sets of underwear? How many pairs of trousers? How many tops? Bear in mind i need to go through a hot hot summer and a cold cold winter...

Coats: I have 3 coats that i wear regularly, a long pleather coat that is great for spring and autumn, a mid length cotton coat that's warm in winter, and a leather biker jacket. I plan to wear the biker jacket to travel...its bloody heavy to carry! Where am i going to fit the other two?

Shoes: I wear DMs, sandals or New Rocks most of the time. I also live in hiking trainers. Where am i going to fit them all? I think i'll send the boots over in the box..

Argh...its all so much of a headfuck, what do i need on a yearly basis? What do i not?

Getting Closer

Its all getting closer.

I looked on my calendar at work yesterday and realised that i have 16 more days at work left. This doesn't include the holiday i've booked. 16 more days...

That's not a lot!

I've been putting in steps to replace myself as well. We're holding elections for the new ECF (Employee Consultative Forum) rep for our area. This is quite amusing. It always amazes me how many people aren't prepared to stand up for anything. There are people who will complain about 'the way it is', or 'the ways its done', but they won't do anything about it! There;s a third of the workgroup that work different hours to me. They're the ones that always have something to say, they always have an issue to be brought up at the ECF. Yet...it comes to voting for a new rep and they dont' bother!! Why is that? No doubt they'll grumble at who is voted in, and then they'll complain a lot to and about them...but they do nothing to change it!

16 working days...

Getting closer

The date is getting closer. I've handed in my notice at work, so its all official.

In a strange way, its odd, it feel all quite surreal. I don't really think i'm going! I think i'll have a bit of a shock when i get on the plane...and even more of a shock after a few weeks when i realise that i am in China...for a long time...for real. I keep thinking about making plans for things that are going on here in September, and things like booking a camping spot for Soltice next year...but i won't be here for them.

Anyway...i'm doing a bit of experimenting on here before i get there, so here's a est picture:

Reflections

I'd forgotten, til I started writing this blog, how much I enjoy writing. I've never been one for penning songs or poetry I just like pouring my feelings out to an unresponsive medium, one that won't answer back, or try to hug me or do any of the things that the nearest human tries to do.

I'm not a physical person. I don't like possessiveness, or overt displays of affection. I don't really do hugging people unless i'm saying goodbye to them, or they need it. Not me. I don't like being hugged unless there's a good reason for it. Me being upset is not a good reason.

I realise, as I write this that there's no-one who reads it! That's right, I'm writing a blog...my own secret blog that no-one else reads. Its me writing to myself. I used to do that when I was younger – go through the right books on my shelves and you'll find little notes written about how i'm feeling that day. They were usually written in a fit of pique and allowed me to pour out my feelings without someone looking at me in a sympathetic way, or trying o come up with solutions to my problems. Most of my problems have always been emotional. I'm a level optimist. I believe that the glass is always half full, in fact, its always brimming over if you know where to look.

The problem with being an optimist is that when things go wrong for you, you sweep violently the other way. You become the most cynical person, the glass will never even think of being filled ever again. Then...you do something about it.

The other problem I have is that I never tell someone how I feel, or what I think until its too late. If it did these things earlier, i'd have a lot less trouble. Maybe I try to protect myself by not telling people these things...avoiding rejection if you like, or maybe I just don't actually realise that I feel this way until its too late.

My Passport arrived today...4 days earlier than expected. This is good. I've scanned in the back page, and my degree certificate (yes, imaginary readers, I do have a degree), and a passport photo of myself and i've emailed them to Prof. Thomas who is running the China Programme. I've also posted these copies, and my application form, and my cheque to him. China gets ever closer.

Maybe that's why i'm being so reflective at the moment. I don't have time to dwell on the past, so i'm dwelling on myself and the future. I'm leaving all that is safe and comfortable for a life of the unknown. I can't wait!

At the moment, i'm on a train on my way to York. I love travelling, especially on my own. I don't have anyone to make plans for me, or tell me that they want to do something that I don't. I can sit on the train and read, or knit, or write without someone trying to make futile conversation with me while I nod and smile politely, secretly wanting them to shut up and leave me in peace.

One day...when I have readers, I want them to comment lots. I'll always be fairly solitary, but I want comments, I want people to let me know whether i'm odd, or normal. Do they have the same feelings towards other human beings (it is only humans...i can spend hours in the company of animals and never resent them).

Got to go...coming into the station soon, and it'll take some time for the laptop to turn off!

Cookbook

I ordered Baking: From My Home to Yours by Dorie Greenspan a few weeks ago, and it arrived today! Yeay!

I've been reading a few other blogs, and a lot of the bakers have been going on about Tuesdays With Dorie, so i wanted to join in.

The book should be called 'Baking P0rn...pictures of cakes' The photography is wonderful, and i want to make so many of the recipes already! 

Its a large book, bigger than i expected, and has hundreds of gorgeous, easy to follow recipes.

Not sure ifi'm going to be able to fulfil the rules for TWD at the moment - especially when i go to China, i understand that a lot of houses don't have ovens, but i'm going to see what i can do!